Genre: Twilight
Jake's Rating: 2 stars
Cami's Rating: 2.5 stars (for hilarity)
I actually enjoyed this more than Twilight, because I knew what to expect. I knew Bella would never move her mouth, that Edward would be weird and stalky and creepy, and that the dialogue would somehow translate WORSE to film than in the books. Knowing that, I could sit back, relax, and poke fun for the entire duration with Jake, and THAT was highly enjoyable.
Summary: Edward decides he's too dangerous for Bella, she believes his lame story that he doesn't want her around (because Bella NEVER feels good enough--boo hoo), and then almost dies of overly dramatic grief. (Here is me being happy they didn't try to recreate Bella ripping her stereo out of her truck with her fingernails.) Then Jacob grows up and takes off his wig, Bella can't stop looking at his six-pack (remember, he is Shark Boy, friends), and then a bunch of other stuff happens with some vampires and some werewolves.
Thoughts: Best part: dialogue from the movie "Face Punch." Put your gun down or I'll shoot your head off. No YOU put YOUR gun down or I'll shoot YOUR head off. Both of you put your guns down, or I'll shoot BOTH your heads off. . . . pause . . . Let's do this. That was awesome. Next best part: the last nanosecond. Marry me. . . . at least 5 second pause . . . (sharp intake of breath without moving mouth).
AAAAH hahahahahahaaa. It was great.
For all you Twihards, I'm sure you all continued to look past the bad acting and weird makeup to actually enjoy this movie enough to squeal like little fangirls. I'm glad you did. I'm a little jealous that you could. At least I enjoyed it, eh?
4 comments:
Ah shucks. Alright so I'm a HUGE fan, but don't worry I don't think it's great acting. I really don't. Kristin is incapable of smiling and Rob comes off as so tortured that he almost incapable of speech, but I just let that all go and have fun with it like I know you wish you could. I'm very good at suspension of disbelief. In a way don't you think the acting kinda works with Stephanie Meyer's writing?? It's all just fluff. GREAT fluff for me because I can't resist vampires. Really really can't resist them even if horrible acting is involved!:) I watched Tom Cruise! as Lestat over and over again long before Twilight when any self-respecting Anne Rice fan totally shunned that movie. There's just something wrong with me I guess!:) I did find the dialog during Face Punch a hoot. And come on didn't you smile a little at the cracky face Edward during the Volturi part?? Oh and when all his makeup is rubbed off by all the kissing with Kristin and only his face is white in the part right after he steps in the sunlight at noon. Seriously that was awesome!
If I could go with you to Eclipse I would send you my giddy fangirl vibes along with some suspension of disbelief vibes like Bella's magical shield (my fanpire super power:)) and I know we would have fun! Maybe?
HA! Ah, Jennie, bring your magical shield and we'll have a GREAT time! :)
YES! I totally notice the lack of red lips for a while there! HA! OH the cracky face. It was all just so great. SO much more to make fun of than the first one. OH OH OH the wig, though. Man. And seriously, who WOULDN'T choose Jacob? It's a mystery.
You were very generous with your rating of this movie. I was completely amazed at how incredibly BORING this movie was. It was a much better book than the first one (due largely to blessed overall lack of Edward), but I'm just always so amazed at how nothing even really happens in these books. Even the "events" are just like... random strings of happenings that don't really make sense.
I liked that part when Jacob totally freaked out at the movie theater. "HOW ABOUT I PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?!?" Such great acting.
I love how this movie encourages putting yourself in life-threatening danger as long as it will let you see a wispy version of your bland and dry ex-boyfriend.
Drew, you need to watch them with us an make the fun! Then it's not so boring. (But I did spend a large amount of time hiding under my blanket so I didn't have to look at the smoldering and whatnot, and just told Jake when to have me look again, so perhaps I can't completely be trusted.)
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